Everything is a result of what’s gone before. Your level of confidence is mainly the
result of the way you responded to those who raised you and the environment in
which you grew up. But it is not the whole story.
Genetics – nature – accounts for around 25-35% of your character. Your past
experiences and your interpretation of them – nurture – the remainder. When
you were born you didn’t lack confidence – this came later, when you began to
relate to other people and the world around you.
Confidence, or lack of it, is learned, mostly in the first few years of childhood. It
developed when you were weak and mentally and emotionally vulnerable, then,
as you grew up, it became self-reinforcing. So the better you understand what
happened and how it affected you, the more effectively you can take charge of
your present-day feelings and actions.
You may find that some of the exercises in the next few sections bring painful
feelings to the surface, but don’t be deterred. Be honest with yourself. You gain
nothing by deliberately misleading or deceiving yourself.
Self-Awareness 1:
Your past