365 STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
Parents’ and teachers’ words and sayings can stick in the mind for many
years.
For example a recent client, now in his 50s, told me he still hears his
mother’s words ringing in his ears: ‘Life’s a bitch, and then you die!’
Another told me how his father drummed into him, ‘When you can
choose the hard way or the easy way son, do it the hard way. It builds
character.’ The poor man had spent a lifetime making things more
complicated than they need have been.
What parental expressions do you recall from your childhood? How
strong an impression did they make on you? How do you feel when you
think about them now?116When were your parents or guardians most proud of you? When were
they least proud? How has this affected you?
When (if they are still living) are they most proud of you nowadays?
When are they least proud? How does this affect you today?117Where did helping you to build your confidence and self-esteem rank
on your parents’ or guardians’ list of priorities? Did they praise you
often? Criticise constructively? Were they generous with their time? Or
preoccupied with other things, like enforcing the house rules or
pursuing their own interests?
Make notes on how this affected you.118Were you brought up in a particular religion? What did it teach you
about yourself? Did it make you feel strong, capable and secure, or a
hopeless, worthless sinner?119