365 STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
Poor mepeople feel too powerless to take on the world actively, so they
seek sympathy by playing the victim. They wear worried expressions and
relate tales of tragedy and personal crisis, often accompanied by deep
sighing and sobbing. They may try the aloof, silent treatment, but make
sure that it is noticed. Another favoured tactic is the guilt trip: ‘If you
really loved me, you’d...’ ‘Look at what you’re doing to me.’ ‘Please don t
hurt me, I’m so weak.’
Note: Poor me people often sustain their victim-stance by
subconsciously seeking out people who abuse them. For example, a
poor me wife may attract an intimidator husband. The pay-off is the
intimidator’s apology and remorse – which, however, is usually false and
short-term. Were either of your parents a poor me person?123Which of the four control drama types best describes you?■ Are you the angry, impatient type? Do you attempt to dominate
others?
■ Do you enjoy needling or interrogating people?
■ Do you like to keep your distance and play hard to get?
■ Or do you enjoy feeling sorry for yourself, worrying, complaining
and focusing on problems?124If you’ re still not clear into which group you belong, think about what
happened if you disagreed with your parents/guardians. What
happened if you disobeyed them? What happens if you disagree with
them or ignore their wishes now?125What types do you attract nowadays? Stop matching their dramas.
For instance, practise using assertive words and phrases in the
presence of intimidators, and politely but firmly let poor me people
know you will no longer pander to their self-pitying claptrap. And if
you find yourself indulging in self-pity, stop immediately.126