‘Her fault, not mine’
Celia believed she had been unloved as a child. Her father abandoned his wife and
daughter soon after she was born, and her mother was always busy. She remem-
bered feeling alone and pleading with her mother to play with her, but Mum
always shooed her away. ‘I always felt it was my fault,’ she said. ‘I must have been
really boring.’
In therapy Celia entered the relaxed state and pictured herself as a child. She imag-
ined the little girl she once was sat on her knee, being comforted. They chatted to
each other; the little girl insisted that she was not boring, just lonely. She hated the
way she was recollected by the adult Celia. She considered it very unfair. As she
visualised herself enjoying a warm, lingering cuddle, tears welled up.
The following week Celia felt much better about her childhood and herself. ‘I now
realise I was 0K,’ she said. ‘If my mother didn’t want to know, that was her fault,
not mine.’
Like Celia you will only be able to accept your Inner Child as an important and
valuable part of you when you stop judging him or her and treat her with compas-
sion instead.
19 TAKE CARE OF YOUR INNER CHILD