365 STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
Do the same with your mother or female parent figure.
When you use the Empty Chair technique, remember: (1) It is not a
rehearsal for a real life encounter; the other person may even no longer
be alive. It is a way of clearing unexpressed feelings that keep you stuck
in the past. (2) Most of us don’t remember our parents as they actually
were, but as we thinkorimaginethey were.138If you can’t find room for forgiveness in your heart at present, affirm
the possibility that one day, perhaps sooner than you think, you could
be ready to forgive. This affirmation sends a powerful message to the
subconscious:‘Soon, I will be ready to forgive... (name him or her) for...
(whatever they did)
and wipe the slate clean. I, and I alone, am in charge of my life.’139Don’t forget to forgive the most important person in your life – you.
Forgive yourself for all your failings; for being too hard on yourself; for
sometimes failing to stand up for yourself; and for any hurt you’ve
caused to others.
If you were wrong or made a mistake, stop dwelling on it. Learn
from the experience and move on.140