The spiritual life

(Martin Jones) #1

On Some Difficulties of the Inner Life. 37


mencing a courseof experiences that have led


tosuffering,he interposesa feeble protest,and


another" 1 " consciousnessworking asmind-


makes itself felt and heard as regarding these


experiences with repulsion, and objecting to


beingdraggedthroughthem. Theprotestisso


weak and the desire so strong that we can


scarcely speak of a contest; the desire-"I,"
long enthroned, rushes over the weakly-pro-

testingrebel,butv/henthe pleasureisoverand


thepainfulresultsfollow,theignoredrebel lifts

hisvoiceagain ina querulous"I told youso,"


and this is the first stingof remorse. Aslife


succeeds life the mind assertsitself more and


more,and the contest between thedesire-"I


"


and thethought-"I"grows fiercerand fiercer,


and the agonised cryof the Christian mystic:


" 1 find another law in my members warring


againstthelawof mymind,"isrepeatedinthe


experience of everyevolving Man, The war


grows hotter and hotter as, during the deva-


chanic life,the decisionsof the Man aremore


and more strongly impressed on the mind,


appearing as innate ideas in the subsequent

birth,and lendingstrength tothethought-"I,"


which,withdrawingitselffromthepassionsand


emotions, regards them as outside itself, and


repudiates their claim to control it. But the

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