has a maniacal laugh you can hear out on the street; he's everyone's first
choice for Waiter Most Likely to Snap, Shave His Head, Climb a Tower
and Start Shooting Strangers); and some new waiter, the one who doesn't
know what prosciutto is. I haven't bothered to learn his name, as I
suspect he will not remain with us for long. There are two busboys, a
taciturn workaholic from Portugal and a lazy-ass Bengali; they should
balance out, as usual.
My runner today is the awesome Mohammed, nicknamed Cachundo by
the kitchen—the best we have. I'm lucky to have him, as it looks like it's
going to be busy, and the other runner, let's call him Osman, tends to
lose it when things get hectic and has an annoyingly sibilant way of
pronouncing the letter "s", making his calls for "musssselss" "meat
sspesssiall" and "Calvesss' leever" particularly painful to hear when
you're under fire. Cachundo immediately begins picking chervil tops,
arranging garnishes, filling small crocks with grated Parmesan, harissa
sauce, rosemary and thyme, gaufrette potato chips, and picking out my
favorite saucing spoons from the silver bins.
At various times during my labors, I manage to conduct two clandestine
meetings out on the street: agent reports on the activities of the previous
night (after my departure). I'm investigating the grill man incident from
the manager's log. Nothing earth-shaking. I have another brief encounter
near the liquor room with someone who gives me the latest gossip from
our Miami store and a rundown of latest developments at Le Marais, our
sister restaurant on 47th Street, as well as some speculation about
imminent moves by upper management and ownership. Again, nothing I
don't know or assume already. I like my bosses—and think they like me
—so it's really only curiosity, not paranoia, that keeps me collecting and
analyzing information from our distant outposts and conference rooms.
Also, I like to hear different accounts of the same incident from different
sources. It adds perspective and reveals, sometimes, what a particular
source is leaving out, or skewing to leave a particular impression,
making me wonder: Why? I like to tell selected people things in