screaming at the blameless Baldor, my anger is gone, so when I call the
guilty company, I can barely summon a serious tone. It turns out that my
order has been routed to another restaurant—Layla, instead of Les
Halles. I make a mental note to refer to my restaurant as "Less Halluss"
in the future. The dispatcher at the guilty company apologizes for the
mix-up, promises my order within the hour and gives me a hundred
dollars in credit.
More ducks, more pheasant, lots of mussels, the relentless tidal wave of
pork mignons . . . finally lunch begins to wind down. I enjoy a cigarette
in the stairwell while Carlos continues drilling out steaks, chops and
paillards, nothing for my station. D'Artagnan arrives, my specialty
purveyor, bearing foie gras, duck legs, and an unexpected treat—a 200-
pound free-range pig, whole, which José, one of my masters, has ordered
for use in pâtés and tête du porc by the charcutier. Now, I can lift a 200-
pound, living breathing human—for a few seconds anyway—but
dragging 200 pounds of ungainly dead weight by the legs through the
restaurant and down the stairs to the boucherie requires four strong men.
The boucher, charcutier, dishwasher and I wrestle the beast down the
stairs, its head bouncing gruesomely on each step. I now know what it
must be like to dispose of a body, I mutter. I do not envy the Gambino
crime family—this is work!
The general manager sits down to lunch with the hostess. Two calamari,
no oil, no garlic, a fish special no sauce, a céleri remoulade. Frank, my
new French sous-chef, arrives. I have a list for him: dinner specials,
mise-en-place, things to do, things to look out for. When he takes over
the sauté station later, relieving me, I am grateful . . . my knees are
hurting and the familiar pain in my feet is worse than usual.
José, my boss, stops by, wanting to take me to the Green-market. I
quickly tie up a few loose ends, make sure Frank is briefed, and walk
down to the market—about eleven blocks. We fondle, sniff, squeeze and
rummage through produce for a while, returning to the restaurant an hour