with decent food, or a simple country Italian restaurant, or a bistro loved
for its lack of pretension. But success makes these guys feel
invulnerable. They must be geniuses, right? They're making money in the
restaurant business! So why not open a 300-seat interactive Tuscan
restaurant/take-out/with merchandising outlet in a high-rent district? Or
three more restaurants! Maybe the Hamptons! Miami! The Seaport! Two
frat-bar saloons with two Chinese cooks and a large-breasted bartender
as overheads have been raking in the dough, so why not open up a jazz-
club theme restaurant in Times Square? A multistory one with a three-
star chef and live music?
The answer is simple. Because it's not what they're good at!
Making money in the bar business? What's wrong with that? You're a
lucky man! Stay in the goddamn bar business! Hang on to your money! I
can't tell you how many times I've seen cunning, powerful, even wildly
successful men fall victim to this kind of delusional power grab, this
sudden urge to expand the empire—only to find their personal Stalingrad
waiting for them. Some get away with it for a while, and though things
aren't exactly rocket-to-the-moon, they aren't going too badly, either: the
second place isn't losing money, it looks like it might even make money
someday, so why not open two more at the same time? When they finally
go to the well once too often, find themselves overextended, have to start
ignoring the original operation—the one that made all the money for
them in the first place, eventually bleeding it dry—next thing you know,
the Russian tanks are rolling through the suburbs, misusing your
womenfolk, and Mr Restaurant Genius is holed up in the bunker thinking
about eating his gun.
The most dangerous species of owner, however—a true menace to
himself and others—is the one who gets into the business for love. Love
for the song stylings of George Gershwin (always wanted a place where
they could present the cabaret music they adore), love for the regional
cuisine of rural Mexico (and it'll be authentic, too! No frozen