weighing vegetables alphabetically—or by type, like most sheets—I
have my sheets laid out the way the food is laid out, allowing me to pass
through my inventory in a comfortable, one-directional order, ticking off
items. I know if an order has been called in, and if a particular item was,
in fact, ordered—the telltale Bigfoot-style notations appear. Nothing is
left to chance. I can tell a Bigfoot restaurant from the street: the waiters
are in comfortable clothes—100 percent cotton oxfords or same-colored
T-shirts, blue jeans or khakis, road-tested aprons for their order books,
and multiple pens (God help you if you don't have a pen in Bigfootland);
the cooks are in restaurant-owned and washed whites, the porters in
telltale blue coveralls. The phone is always answered in the same way,
whoever picks up. All pots and pans are scrubbed down to bare metal; I
remember some in my time exploding in the dishwasher from metal
fatigue, having been scraped down one time too many. (No problem,
Bigfoot will call the company and demand a free replacement! He
remembers that lifetime guarantee.)
The most important and lasting lessons I learned from Bigfoot were
about personnel and personnel management—that I have to know
everything, that I should never be surprised. He taught me the value of a
good, solid and independently reporting intelligence network, providing
regular and confirmable reports that can be verified and cross-checked
with other sources. I need to know, you see. Not just what's happening in
my kitchen, but across the street as well. Is my saucier unhappy? Is the
chef across the street ready to make a pass, maybe take him away from
me at an inopportune moment? I need to know! Is the saucier across the
street unhappy? Maybe he's available. I need to know that, too. Is the
cute waitress who works Saturday nights screwing my broiler man?
Maybe they've got a scam running: food going out without dupes! I have
to know everything, you see. What might happen, what could happen,
what will happen. And I have to be prepared for it, whatever it is. Staff
problems, delivery problems, technical difficulties with equipment, I
have to anticipate and be ready, always with something up my sleeve,