particularmethodofonboardingthe
customersfromthetaken-over
business,whichwasallpackagedup
andreadytogointhehandywebsite
linkatthebottomoftheemail.Just
click,andeverythingwouldbe
handledautomatically.
So,howdoesthisscorewhenwe
lookatitfromthecustomer’spointof
view?Thefirstthingtheyseeisan
emailfromapreviouslyuncontacted
domain,makingreferencetoan
existingcommercialrelationshipthat
hadnotbeenflaggedasunder
takeoverthreat.Thisemaildemands
thatusersre-entertheirpersonal
details,whichthenewlymerged
businessalreadyhadinthebilling
systemithadinherited.Thefinalplea
wastoclickonalinkinanemail.
Nomatterhowyouscoreeachof
thosenegatives,nomatterhow
tech-savvytheuserbaseisassumed
tobe,thisisanightmareasafirst
introduction.Fortunately,acoupleof
therecipientsofthiscommunication
thoughttoshowmeandaskwhatI
madeofthemessage.Myfirstreaction
wastogobacktothesupplierthathad
beentakenover.Callingitssupport
lineputmethroughtopossiblythe
mostdepressed,demotivated,
aggravatedanduncooperative
supportworkeranywhereinthe
world.No,hedidn’tknowanything
abouttheemail.Yes,thecompanyhad
beentakenover,thatmuchwas
legitimate,butanyotherdetailsabout
howthehandovermightbeachieved
weren’tavailable.Andinanycase,asI
wasn’tacustomer,itwasnoneofmy
business-GDPR,don’tchaknow?
So,validationbeingdeniedvia
thisroute,Ididthenextlogicalthing
andgotthecustomertologintoher
emailononeofmyclean-and-tidy,
well-builtandprotectedlaptops.
Ghosterydidn’tcomplainaboutthe
initialemaildomainorthelaterweb
serversthatfiredupafterIclickedon
thelink.Thisisordinarilygood
enoughproofoflegitimatecontent,
butinthiscasewhattheservershadto
displaywasthewholepointofthe
exercise:thewindowthatopened
showedallthepersonaldataofthe
aggrievedcustomer.Name,address,
paymentmethods...theonlypartof
thewholeformnotpre-filledfor
conveniencewasalittletickboxto
agreetotheT&Csofthenew,
amalgamatedbusiness.
Myflabberisstillsomewhat
ghasted.Atnopointhadtheoriginal
emailreferredtoanychangeinT&Cs
afterthemerger.Andconversely,
GDPRhasnothingtosayonthe
subjectofT&Cs:conditionsofuseare
auniversalrequirement,whereas
GDPRconcernsitselfwithmeasures
toprotectpersonalinformationonly.
So,let’strytountangletheknots
here.Thenewownerneededtobring
newT&Csintoeffect,thatmuchwe
know.Afterthatitgetshazier,
butlet’sassumethatsomething
persuadedthecompanythatthis
mightbeahardsell,andthatglossing
overthedetailswouldgetitmore
completedformsthansimplehonesty
would.Iassumethatwhoeverwrote
theemaildidn’ttalktotheDevOps
personwhoextractedthecustomer
datafromtheoldsystemandmadeit
readytoimportintothenew:even
theshortestofconversationshere
would,onehopes,havepushedthe
communicationsclosertoanopen
disclosureofbusinesspractices,and
howthecustomerscouldvalidate
theidentityofthenewbusiness
withouthavingtoturnthemselves
intoonlinedetectives.Twodaysafterthemulti-way
conversationsthatclearedthismatter
up,Ihadanunexpectedemailfrom
theMDIhadspokento.Textless,it
presentedalinktoaproject
document,heavilyprotectedwithMS
Officeonlineidentitylogins.Ididn’t
feeltemptedtotypeinmyMS
credentialsandreadtheproject
document,sinceIreallydidn’twant
tobedrawnanyfurtherintoa
conversationwithabusinesswith
someevidentproceduralnonsenses
and,staggeringly,prettypeculiar
emailsecurityintothebargain.
ThepeopleIwanttostayintouch
withafterthisarethecustomers.Will
theystarttoseethetelltalesignsof
theirnamesandaddresseshaving
leakedontotheDarkWeb?Iftheydo,
howcantheyworkoutwheretheleak
tookplace,andwhoistoblameforit?
Withcontorted,perversecharades
gatheringjustonetickboxoutof 50
fieldsofpersonaldatadisplayed,I
thinkthisincidentwillstickintheir
minds,andproducealongtailof
speculativeaccusationsthatarefar
morelikelytounderminethebusiness
thangatheranynewcustomers.“Thewindow
thatopened
showedallthe
personaldataof
theaggrieved
customer”[email protected]@PCPRO FACEBOOK.COM/PCPROTheidentiphoneparadeSomeonesentmeanotherphone.Infact,
theysentmetwo:aNokiaX20andaMotorola
G50.Donotconcludeanythingfromthemodel
designations,andpleasedon’texpectmeto
startthekindofdetailedappraisalyou’llbe
usedtoasareaderofourLabssection.Idon’t
really“do”finedetails,unlesstheymakesome
strongpointaboutinfrastructureortheuse
andabuseoftechnology.WhatIconclude
fromboththesephonesisthatit’sgoingto
beoneheckofacut-throatmarketplacein
smartphonesin2021-22.
Bothdevicesareincrediblycheap,bythe
buyingstandardsinmyheadfromthelasttime
Iwentphoneshopping,atunder£400.The
pressureonpricingisfromasomewhatstrange
direction:Google.Allthesephones,andmyHuawei,andtheOnePlusthatprecededthat,stillqualifyfor
thelatestAndroidoperatingsystem.It’sonlybythesorryandwell-travelledstateofthetwoolderphones
thatonecanreadilytellthemapart,althoughtheNokiagetsatinyboostcourtesyofitswhitish,slightly
organic-feelingbumpcase.Oh,andtheothersimilarityisthatIveryseldomseeausefuloraccurate
reportofanactual5GsignalhereincentralLondon.Whilethefirsttwophonesaren’t5G-capable,these
lasttwocanusethefasterconnection.
NokiaandMotorolamaybethenamesemblazonedonbothphones,butGoogleistherealpower.
Asevidence,thefirstthingIhadtoactuallydowiththeX20waslogintomyGooglePlayaccountand
downloadthecurrentversionofTorqueProtodeletealotofartificiallyveryunintelligentfaultcodesfrom
theECUoftheCassidyVolvo.IboughtTorqueProtogoonaMotorolaXoom,whichdatesmyoriginal
purchaseoftheapptoaround2011.Thatpurchaseisstillvalid,atleasthalfadozenreleasesofbothTorque
andAndroidlater.
It’sverydifficultforanyphonemanufacturertoriseabovethecrowdandmakethemselvesdistinct
fromtheidentiphoneswhenthesoftwaremakeseverydeviceprettymuchfunctionallythesame.Basedon
thepressmaterialsforbothphones,however,differentiationistheironlyhope:Ican’tthinkofanother
explanationforthechild’scameraandbundledlabelprinter,whichapparentlyyou’reallgaggingforinthe
21stcentury.Takeawayfromallofthisnonsenseis:bargainsahoy!ABOVETheNokiaX20andMotorolaG50areproofthatthe
smartphonemarketisacut-throatkindofplace