44 Blowingit
MONEYWEEK 8October 2021 moneyweek.com
Tabloidmoney...thecommunistexilewhoconqueredHollywoodThe best seats in town for food theatreW
hentheSlidefamily
descendsforbirthdays
andspecialoccasions,
Iamknownforscarcely
beingabletohidethepain
whenthebillarrives.Iletthe
plastictakethestrain.
Butthenexttimethis
happensIwillconsole
myselfbyrememberingthat
atleastwearen’ttrendy
enoughtobeeatingat
Nusr-EtLondon,anew
restaurantwith“mind-
blowing,bank-busting,
mortgage-detonating”
prices,saysWilliamSitwell
inTheDailyTelegraph.
Almostimmediatelyafterit
opened,thebillsfromthis
fineestablishmentstarted
appearingonsocialmedia,
includingonefora“jaw-dropping”
£1,8 12 ,asumthatwouldhavegotyoua
mealforagroupofeightincludinga£10 0
“GoldenBurger”andacanofRedBull,
asicklycaffeinated concocti on theyouth
pour into theirvodkas, for£11.
Paying £630 for the“signature
tomahawk steak”,evenifitdoescome
wrappedin24-caratgold-leaf, mightseema
little excessive formostpeople, says Sitwell,
butthenthisisnoordinar yrestaurant. It is
runbyNusretGökçe,aka SaltBae –ort he
“Sultan of Steak”,asheisknown on social
media. Theformernicknamewas acquired
afterhis “flamboyantcondiment-sprinkling
techniquecaughtthe attention of Twitter
usersand prom ptly went viral” –hes easons
your steakinmuchthe wayyou might
expectTom Cruise inCocktailto serveyou
adrink.Gökçe ha s38million Instagram
followers–David Beckhamand Lionel
Messiare said to be fans,and Rihannaeven
hasaT-shir twithhis face on it.
Gökçemay be “one of theplanet’strue
celebritychefs; acultofp ersonality both
in th ekitchen andinf ront of thecamera”,
sayJochanEmbleyand DavidEllis in
theEveningStandard.But hisascentto
“steak-basedstardom”hasn’tbeenfree
of controversy.The NewYorkopening of
hisrestaurantreceived“scathingreviews”
–critics declared that hissteakswere as
“over-salted as they areoverpriced” and
were “severely lackinginf lavour”. He was
bitterly criticised forhosting Venezuelan
dict ator NicolásMaduro.But who will come back?
He hasalsohad to “fendoff afew legal
salvos”, note Embley andEllis.Hemade
a$230,000 settlemen twithfourformer
wait ersatt he chain’sManhattan restaurant
over thedistributionoft ips, andhas set tled
other suitsoverunpaidovertime. The
constructionofhis Dallas restaurant led
to alawsuit foralmostamillion dollarsworthofunpaidbills.Mostominously,it
wasreportedlastyearthattheownersofhis
chainaresittingon€2.3bnworthofdebt.
Still, whilethe criticsand theculinary
establishmentderideGökçe,evenhis rivals
accept that hislatestbranc h“will garner
plenty of attentio n”,saysJackMalvern in
TheTimes.RestaurateurRussell Norman
hassaidthathenot only expectsit to be
“packed”,but would“certainlybebooking
atable”himself.Normanissceptic al
aboutits long-termappeal, noting that
the“big challenge is making sure people
comeback ”, especiallyifGökçe “isdrawn
away to oneofhis 24 otherrestaurants
in Americ a, TurkeyorDubai”. After all,
theatreist he main draw.IfS altBae do esn’t
personallyappearatt he tabletog ildand
season the£70024-caratgold-covered
steak, we’d demand themoneyback.Now is thewinterofour
content, made glorious summer by
ssun of York”, wrote Shakespea re,
ssi bly foreseeing theshortageof
orrydriversincenturies to come,
says Brian Readeint he Daily
Mirror.Ifonlyhe’dadded:“But
worrytheenot though thouhast
good reason,for yonknave’s
vowedtosavethe festiveseason.”
hat’s right, Bori sJohnson’s
swer to our” complete ly screwed”
ply chains andbaresupermarket
elvesist hathe’sonanother
ssionto“Save Christmas”.
scunning plan is to offer5,000
ropean lorrydriverstemporarywork
as.That’slikeabouncerrefusing
uentryto anightclub, then hunting
udownlater to te ll yo uthatyou can
pshiftthebeer, but onlyuntil
dnight.Thenyou have to leave.●“I know thereisapetrolcrisis,”
says Karren BradyinThe Sunon
Sunday. Butsomepeoplereallyare
taki ng things toofar.TakeCristiano
Ronaldo,for example.The new
Manches ter United footballer’s
driver wasspotted waitingalmost
sevenhours to fill Ronaldo’s
£220,0 00 FlyingSpur Bent ley with
petrolataforecourtin Wilmslow,
Cheshire. Upon realisingthata
tankerwasn’t coming anytime
soon,the driver thendrove away
emptyhandedat9pm.It’s
unbelievable he waitedsolong.
“That’salmostworse than the
idio ts whoare fillin gbuckets with
petrol .And even if hehadbeenable
to getpetrol, in asix-litre carthe
maxallowance of 30 quid wouldn’t
gethim far, so he’d have to do the
same thingagainthe nextday.”●“Lifemustfeel prettybloody marvellous
right nowfor actre ss Ana de Armas, ”says
Jane Fryerinthe Daily Mail.DeArmas
(picture d) is the latestBond girl inNo Time
Die.“She’ salsoexquisitel ybeaut iful,with
abody to diefor,has arefresh ingl yrelaxed
attitud etonudity, lovesadrink andalate
night pa rty. To topitoff,she’s an
ambassadorfor allsortsofworthybrands
includingNatural Diamonds.” It’s all afar
cryfromher native communistCuba.The
famil yhomewas abreeze-bloc kflatina
“tattyback street,awash withrubbleand
straydogs”.There wasnoTV, no internet
and no newspapers.So, theminuteshe
turned18, shefledCuba, thanks to her
Spanish jointnationality,withjust$300,
andnever looked back.Now,she hasher
pickoft he film scripts.Maybe she’ll choos
oneabout “a beautiful,talented, ambitiou
girlwho flee sCubawithdreams of
conqueringHoll ywood”.
Atalent for showbiz has made the Sultan of Steak the king of celebrity chefs“The owners
of Gökçe’s
restaurant chain
are sitting on
€2.3bn of debt”©GettyImages©GettyImagesSaltBaeoffersmind-blowing,bank-bustinggrub