LegendsofA-listersunable
togeta tablefilltheannals
ofNobu—TomCruisewas
famouslyturnedaway;Madonna
hadtowait 30 minutes—and
todayyou’llstillnevergeta
7:30p.m.seating.Here’swhy:
Thereservationsteamcre-
atestwoservicecyclesa night,
oneatabout 6 p.m.,theotherat
about8:30p.m.It’ssimplemath.
Partiesoftwotendtotaketwo
hourstodine,andforgroups
ofthreetosix,addanaddi-
tional 30 minutes.Largertables
takeaboutthreehours.Gueststhenareseatedevery 15 min-
utesfrom5:45p.m.to6:15p.m.
andfrom8:15p.m.to 9 p.m.,
ensuringa steadyflowofser-
viceforthe 300 to 500 custom-
ersperevening.Generallythe
teamoverbookstherestaurant
byabout10%eachnighttoallow
forno-showsandlast-minute
cancellations.Fornon-VIPs,the
bestwaytosnaga tableis to
calltherestaurantabout 4 p.m.
onthedaybeforeyouwantto
dine—thesweetspotbetween
last-minutecancellationsand
eleventh-hourbookings.62
DINING“TheNewYorkCityclients
arelargelythebestbehaved,”
saysJadMarouche,bever-
agemanageratNobuFifty
SevenandNobuDowntown.
Thestoriesfromhistimeatthe
LosAngelesbranches(West
HollywoodandMalibu)getthe
mosteye-rollsfromhiscol-
leagues,suchaswhena well-
knownmoviedirectoractedas
if thecostofanextra$10bot-
tleofFijiwaterwastheendoftheworld.A fewweekslater,
Maroucheheardthedirector
sayhe’dinstalleda Fijitapinhis
homethatevenpipedthepre-
miumwaterthroughhisshower.
AnotherthorninMarouche’s
sidewastheHollywoodfix-
turesosimilartothecharacter
heportrayedona well-known
sitcomthathealwaysshowed
updrunkandslurry,yellingat
waitressesastheypassed.
Mistreatmentofstaff(touchingorswearingat
them)willgetyouperma-
nentlybarred,a decisionthat
comesallthewaydownfrom
theowners.ButNobuis dis-
creet;anevicteehastotake
it uponhimselftomakea ban
newsworthy—likewhenbil-
lionaireStewartRahrthrewa
hissyfittomanagementinan
emailonwhichhecopiedevery-
onefromLeonardoDiCaprioto
AliciaKeys.YOU’LL NEVER SCORE A 7:30 P.M. RESERVATION
NEW YORK
PATRONS ARE
LESS RUDE
THAN THE REST
OF THE WORLD
ILLUSTRATIONS BY CYNTHIA KITTLER