“But girls love bad guys!” I hear you crying. And I assure you that any “bad guy” was at least non-
threatening when he met the girl who apparently loves him.
Now, here is a list of things people don’t like:
- Being judged.
If you’re sitting at a cafe, and someone comes up to you all confident, like they know best, with a
serious look on their face and standing over you, this is a threat. Whether you believe in evolution or
you’re still under the belief that we’re not just clever monkeys who can talk, it doesn’t matter: this
person is showing dominance, and therefore is threatening us. Anything we are likely to say with any
real semblance of our true beliefs, any revelations of our true selves, will be met with judgement, and
we don’t want that. So we respond by stoically making that threat go away.
How Do I Appear Non-Threatening?
- Smile, showing your teeth
- Stand slightly side on (not directly facing)
- Show your palms
- Don’t take yourself too seriously
- Act like you aren’t going to be staying for long
NLP Seduction: Rule # 4
Set it up with a time deflection!A time deflection is when you make it clear you’re not going to be sticking around for more than a
minute. What Joe should have said is “Hey, I’m just leaving, but can I quickly ask you for your opinion
on something?”
Immediately, Jane knows that no matter what she says, this guy is not going to stay for very long. Plus,
she is going to intrigued at why this stranger wants her opinion on something. And the grand slam is
that it doesn’t look like he’s trying to romantically engage her either.
Another form of time deflection is not verbal, but physical. This is when you barely stop moving while
talking, then come back later. For example, Joe could have walked past her table and asked “Oh, I was
going to order that, is it good here?” only slowing down enough to hear her response. If she looks up
confusingly, Joe could add a small joke so that he was clearly not a threat, for example, he could add
“Don’t worry, if it’s terrible, I won’t tell them you said it!” If she replies with a positive response, he
could shoot back “Great! And if you’re wrong, I’ll kill you!” Actually, that won’t go down well at all.
Don’t do that.