ofmenareaffectedbythemandtheotherfivepercentprobablydonot
haveamother-in-law'.MrFMuhammadwrites:'Mymother-in-lawisal-
waysbuttingintomylife.Shecausesourannoyancefornogoodreason.
Sheisalwaysspeakingdefamatorywordsaboutmyfamily.WheneverI
buyanythingformywife,she(themother-in-law)startspickingupfault
withit.Shecriticisesitscolour,ormodelandtriestoproveitworthless
to mywife.' MrK Parvizwrites: 'My mother-in-law hastreatedme in
suchawaythat Ihavealmostdivorcedmywife threetimes. Shestings
likeascorpion.Sheteachesmywifetoberudetome,toleavethehouse-
work,ortoexpecttheimpossiblefromme.Whenevershecomesto us.
our house turns into hell. I truly hate the sight of her'."
Most men try to counter their mothers-in-law's influences on their
wivesbyrestrictingtheirrelationshipwith them.Theystoptheirwives
fromgoing totheirparents houses.Inbriefmendo notgetalongwith
their mothers-in-law and show their dislike for them by all possible
means.
However,thisapproach,althoughusual,isnotlogicalandwise.This
isbecauseamother-daughterrelationshipisverystrongandisanatural
bondwhichcannotbebrokeneasily.Howcanamanexpecthiswifeto
abandon her parents who have spent years trying to bring her up?
Thisexpectationisnotpracticalandevenifithappens,itwouldnotbe
permanent,asanyunnaturalactistemporary.Besidesifawomanfeels
that her husband is against her parents, she might take up a similar
stance with regard to his family. She may become disobedient, dis-
respectable, etc.
Moreover, thisattitude ofthe mangives anexcuse tohis mother-in-
lawto interferemoreseverely intheir marriage. Inbriefthisapproach
could have a negative result and might lead to divorce.
Anywaywhyshouldaman,whocanbenefitfromassociatingwithhis
in-laws, resort to such measures which could harm him and his family?
"Indianpoliceauthoritiesreportedthatintheyear1971,themainreas-
onforatotalof 146 casesofsuicideinNewDelhiwasduetoanunfa-
vourable relationship between men and their mothers-in-law."
"Aman,whowasfrustratedwithhismotherin-lawbecauseofherob-
trusions threw her out of a taxi."