Principles of Marriage and Family Ethics

(Chris Devlin) #1

Awomansaid: 'Wehada goodtraditionin Iranwhich hasunfortu-
nately faded away gradually. In this tradition the man used to be in
chargeofthefamilyaffairs.Heusedtobetheboss.Nowadays,however,
thesituationischanged,andfamiliescannotmaketheirmindsupasto
whoshouldbeincharge.Ibelievethatthe womanoftoday,whomore
orlesshavethesamesocialstatusasmen,shouldacceptherhusbandas
the chiefof the house,... This old traditionhas to be recommended to
today's young woman, who intends to marry'. She should enter her
husband'shousewearingaweddingdressandcomeoutofitwearinga
shroud'."


Itistruethatthe everydaypreoccupationsoflifedonotallowaman
toparticipateinallthe familyaffairsandthat inpracticethewiferuns
thehouseaccordingtoherdesires,butnevertheless,therightofdirector-
ship remains with the man, and as such he should be respected.


Therefore,should a manexpress his opinion about anypoint in the
householdmattersorsuggestanything,thewifeshouldnotopposehim
or deny himhis right of directorship in anyway. Otherwise, the man
wouldregardhimselfaspowerlessandlookuponhiswifeasanimpol-
iteandungratefulwoman,Hemightholdagrudgeagainstherand,ata
later stage even resist his wife's lawful wishes.


"TheProphet(SA)ofAllahstated:'Agoodmanwouldpayheedtoher
husband's wishes and would act according to his desires."


"AwomanaskedtheProphet(SA)ofAllah;'Whatisthedutyofawo-
manwith regard to her husband?' The Prophet (SA) stated' She must
obey him and must not violate his orders'.


''The Prophet (SA)of Allah alsostated: 'The worst of womenis one
who is stubborn and obstinate'.''
''TheProphet(SA)alsostated:'Theworstofwomenisonewhoisbar-
ren. dirty, obstinate and disobedient',


DearMadam!Acceptthe authorityofyourhusbandandhissupervi-
sioninyourhouseholdaffairs.Donotviolatehisorders.Tonotresistor
opposehisparticipationinthehouseholdandfamilymatters.Donotre-
jecthisparticipationeveninthosemattersthatyouhavemoreexpertise.

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