Chapter 29

Do not refuse to Talk and do not sulk

Itiscustomarywithsomewomenthat,whenupsetwiththeirhusbands,
theysulk,refusetotalk,donotattendtohouseholdwork,donoteat,hit
thechildren,orgrumble.Theybelievethat,notspeaking,orquarrelling
arethebestpossiblewaysofrevengingtheirhusbands.Thisattitude,not
onlyfailstopunishtheman,butmayresultinhisretaliation.Lifethen
becomes difficult turninginto a seriesof quarrels.The woman moans,
thenthe mandoes. The womanrefuses totalk and the manretaliates.
Thewomandoessomethingelse,andthemandoesthesameuntilthey
become tiredand, throughthe mediationof relativesorfriends, recon-
cile.Butthisisnottheonlytimetheyhadarow.Therewillbeotheroc-
casions and there will be a few more days of bitterness.

Therefore,spendingalifetimeoffamilyrowswillnotbepleasantfor
eithertheparentsorthechildren.Mostoftherunawayyouthcomefrom
these kinds of families who then turn to crime and corruption.

"Ayouthwhowasarrestedonchargesoftheft,blamedhisparentsfor
hiscrimeandsaid:'Myparentsusedtoargueeverydayafterwhichthey
usedtogototheirrelativesandIusedtogointothestreetsandwander
about. I was then deceived by others and later committed theft'."

"Aten-yearoldgirl toldthesocialworkers:'Iremembervaguelythat
one night my parents argued over something. The following day, my
motherleftandafewdayslater,myfathertookmetomyaunt.Aftera
whileanoldwomantookmefrommyaunt'shouseandbroughtmeto
Tehran. It is a few years now, that I havebeen living with her and I
suffered so much that I do not want to go back to her'."

"Theteacherofagirlsaid:'Sheisoneofmystudents.Shehasnotbeen
performingwellinherstudiesandlookstobesufferingfromsomething.