The folded hand .................................................................................
You may think that folding your hands together is a positive gesture because
it looks contained and controlled. But look again. Studies show that rather
that demonstrating confidence, this gesture actually reveals frustration or
hostility and signals that the person is holding a negative attitude. By folding
your hands you’re indicating that you’re holding something in them that you
don’t want to let out.
Sure, some people may say that they’re just comfortable with their hands
folded in front of their waists, resting on a table, or in the fig leaf position pro-
tecting their private parts. And they may be. But because, like most gestures,
this one is unconscious, you can be sure that more is going on than pure
comfort.
The next time you’re in a meeting and the speaker refuses to give anyone else
a chance to talk, watch the hand positions of the rest of the group. They’re
likely to be in folded positions until someone finally interrupts, at which time
the hands open as the person begins to speak.
If you’re speaking with someone whose hands are clenched you can bet that
she’s holding annoyance, negativity, or frustration. Do whatever you can to
get her to unlock her fingers to expose her palms. The longer they remain in
the closed position the longer the hostile attitude remains.
Hands clenched .................................................................................
Think back to a time when you were really scared, nervous, or holding back a
strong negative emotion. Chances are that you were clenching your hands for
all you were worth and your knuckles were a bright white: the stronger the
emotion, the tighter the clench. In addition to the strength of the clench you
can also take meaning from where the clenched hands are placed.
In front of the face
Studies indicate that the higher the hands are held in the clenched position
the stronger the negative mood (see Figure 9-5). So, if your boss is sitting
with her elbows resting on her desk and her hands are clenched in front of
her face, she’s probably going to be difficult to handle. By putting her hands
near her mouth she’s indicating that she’s holding back what she would like
to say. Be careful not to push her too far. She just may unclench those hands
and let the words fly out!
Chapter 9: It's in the Palm of Your Hand 147