Gripping hands, wrists, and arms ...................................................
If you want to project superiority and confidence put your hands behind your
back and grip one hand with the other. Look at prominent male members of
royal families around the world. Observe senior military personnel, police
officers patrolling their beats, or the headmaster of your local school striding
through the corridors. They all adopt this position of authority. They are
showing no fear of exposing their vulnerable necks, hearts, or stomachs to
potential threats and hazards.The next time you’re in a stressful or uncomfortable situation, adopt the
palm-in-palm-behind-the-back stance. Note how your feelings change from
frustrated, insecure, or angry to relaxed and confident.As the grip moves up the arm, though, the meaning changes. You can bet that
if someone is gripping her wrist behind her back rather than just her hand
she’s holding back frustration. This gesture is a way of maintaining self-con-
trol, as if the hand is holding the wrist or arm to keep it from hitting out. The
farther up the back the hand goes the greater the level of frustration. By the
time the hand reaches the upper arm this person may have moved from frus-
tration to anger. This gesture is also a sign of nervousness and is an attempt
at self-control.Figure 9-11:
The lowered
steeple
indicates a
listening
attitude.
Chapter 9: It's in the Palm of Your Hand 155