Shaking a shoe.Nervous energy building up like a pressure cooker has
to come out somewhere. Although you may look calm in your upper
torso, if you’re nervous, anxious, or excited, a jiggling foot gives your
game away.
Smoking.As a sucking gesture, smoking provides comfort associated
with being nourished.Pausing for thought............................................................................
When you need to take time to think something through you may find yourself
rolling a pen between your fingers, taking a sip from your coffee cup, or doo-
dling in your notebook. These behaviours provide comforting sensory stimu-
lation. Sipping and chewing actions provide the reassurance you found as a
suckling infant. Behaviours that involve a form of stroking are comforting.When you see someone remove her glasses slowly and deliberately, and
repeatedly wiping the lenses (when her glasses aren’t particularly dirty), you
may be right in thinking that she’s stalling for time. If she then sucks or
chews on the earpiece, she’s unconsciously indicating that she’s seeking
reassurance.Studies conducted by Gerard I Nierenberg and Henry H Calero, pioneers in
the study of non-verbal behaviour, show that some people deliberately
remove and clean their glasses as many as five times an hour. Video record-
ings of intense negotiation sessions show this gesture happening frequently.
The people performing this gesture usually wanted to stall for time while con-
sidering whether they would ask a question, request clarification, or raise
more opposition. Nierenberg and Calero also discovered that a person suck-
ing on the earpiece of her glasses during negotiations, subconsciously
implies that some form of nourishment, likely to be in the form of more infor-
mation, is required.If you have a tendency to speak first and listen later, put something into your
mouth to keep you quiet. This can be the earpiece of the frame of your glasses,
a pencil, or a glass of water. This action gives you time to think about what
you’re going to say before blurting out something that you may later regret.Through the Looking Glasses .....................................................................
Glasses can enhance the eyes, framing them provocatively. They can hide the
eyes when the lenses are tinted. They can open the doorway to communication,
and they can act as a road block. Some people wear glasses with non-pre-
scription lenses for these reasons. They don’t need them to improve their
vision; they wear them to project an image.Chapter 11: Playing with Props 181