Because of the number of people who wear glasses, this section on the signs
to watch for can help you see things more clearly.Stalling for time...................................................................................
Someone wanting to gain time before making a decision takes her glasses off,
cleans the lenses, and puts them back on again. Others take their glasses off
and suck on the arm’s earpiece. This latter gesture frequently appears at the
close of a negotiating session when someone’s been asked for a decision.
When the person puts her glasses back on at this point she’s indicating that
she needs or wants more information. When someone takes her glasses off
and cleans the lenses immediately after asking for a decision, the best thing
to do is hold your fire.Scrutinising the situation ..................................................................
If someone peers over the tops of her glasses at you, don’t be surprised if
you feel scrutinised. Peering down on another person conveys a critical or
judgemental attitude. The glasses underscore or highlight the action.The act of looking down on another person is intimidating, aggressive, and
indicates intense feelings. The person being looked at is put in a lower, sub-
servient position to the person doing the looking.If you wear glasses and want to pin someone down without climbing on top
of her, drop your glasses onto the lower bridge of your nose and peer over
them long and hard. This is a guaranteed way of making the person you’re
looking at feel scrutinised and on the line.Because of the design of granny glasses which many people use for reading,
you naturally look over the top of them when you lift your eye from the page.
This inadvertent gesture elicits negative responses, which may not have been
your intention.Simon is a smart, thoughtful, and sensitive man. He was surprised to discover
when he received feedback on his interpersonal skills that his colleagues and
subordinates perceived him as stand-offish. When I looked at what he was
doing that had led to this perception, one action I noticed was that, when he
speaks to people, rather than removing his reading glasses, he looks over
them. This sets up a barrier between himself and the person he’s speaking to.
Because he doesn’t need glasses for long distance, he found that when he
took his reading glasses off he was able to see the person he was speaking to
more clearly. At his next appraisal he was described as open and accessible. I
like to think that taking his glasses off contributed to people’s new percep-
tions of him.182 Part III: The Trunk: Limbs and Roots