Eye rubbing: It’s not unusual for deceivers to rub their eyes as they’re
speaking. It’s as if their brain is erasing or blocking out the deception.
Men rub their eyes vigorously whereas women use a small, gentle touch-
ing action just below the eye. Both men and women may also look away,
avoiding your gaze.
Inability to look you in the eye: You know this as the familiar shifty
eyed character, where the deceiver can’t look you in the eye. You notice
that the eyes dart back and forth or fail to connect with yours at all.
If you think someone is telling you a tall story, interject a few simple, uncon-
troversial questions that you know will elicit honest answers. Check where
she’s looking. Follow this up with a trickier question. See where the eyes go
then. If she has to make up an answer her eyes go in search of it. If she’s telling
you the truth, her eyes follow the pattern established when answering the
first set of questions.
Look for unusual patterns and over-compensation. If, for example, the deceiver
doesn’t usually look you in the eye when speaking to you and now can’t connect
with you enough, you can safely assume that something suspicious is going on.
Covering the Source of Deception .............................................................
Hand-to-face actions provide a basis for spotting deception. People who are
holding back their feelings and emotions and who want you to believe some-
thing that isn’t true, often touch their faces, particularly their mouths. This
action stems from their younger days when, as children, they covered their
mouths when telling a lie. (Not that you ever did, of course.) With age, that
gesture modifies and becomes less obvious.
Adults use the mouth covering gesture in more subtle ways. If you’re having a
difficult conversation with someone and notice her resting her chin on her
hand with her index finger surreptitiously touching the corner of the mouth
while she’s speaking, she’s possibly giving you a sign that she’s holding some-
thing back. Several fingers playing across the mouth are another sign of con-
taining information.
People who are trying to deceive you receive subconscious instructions from
their brain telling them that the best way to suppress their deceitful words is to
cover their mouth. Up go the fingers or closed fist. A single finger over the mouth
is like the shh-ing gesture. They’re telling themselves to be quiet. They may even
put their fingers in their mouths in an unconscious attempt to revert to the child-
hood security of being at their mother’s breast when they’re feeling under pres-
sure. Finger in mouth is an outward sign of an inner need for reassurance.
Finally, when someone is holding back information, she quite often sup-
presses her words with a fake cough or a clearing of the throat.
Chapter 18: Ten Ways to Reveal Your Attractiveness................................................
