The average person has a lot of self-doubt. Because they‘re not confident
of themselves, they want a lot of approval from other people. We often decide
what we want from subtle cues we picked up from others, and there are a lot
of specific wants that get built out of this basic want for approval.
Status-based wants, like brand name clothes, flashy cars, etc. are wants
people have because they want the approval that comes with having what
others agree is valuable.
Most of these wants for approval are still justified by appeals to the
physical basics: it rides faster and smoother or has better speakers, etc. Some
of these factors may genuinely count, but SOCIAL APPROVAL IS A HUGELY
IMPORTANT FACTOR IN WHAT WE WANT.
An abstract value is whatever it is.
Mercedes equals classy. Fanny pack equals dork (this one is true, by the
way).
And it‘s that way simply because we‘ve agreed to it. The greater the
number of people who agree on a value, the stronger the value becomes.
If you are ―taking the role of the attractive man‖, it‘s the social approval of
seeing others think of you in that way that will seal the deal in her mind.
If you believe in an arbitrary concept like your own attractiveness strong
enough to convince others it‘s true, their belief becomes evidence of your
truth.
Demand one hot girl... and once you get her the others also become easier
to get.
Connecting to Social Proof
OK, but what good does it do you if you know all this stuff in your head,
but attractive women don‘t feel attracted to you because you don‘t perfectly fit
the ―socially accepted model of what‘s attractive‖?
Well, the FIRST thing you can do is avoid the things that are the
NEGATIVES.
Work to present a clean appearance, having good breath, no body odor,
and a healthy weight. In other words, make sure you don‘t get DISQUALIFIED
because of something you CAN change.
But to make yourself wanted, you have to either trigger her attraction for
you or connect to something she values.