Internal Mental Power Struggles
Unfortunately, these three levels or brains don‘t communicate with each
other very well. Each stage of the brain evolved for its contribution to our
reproduction, so each has its own purposes. Conflicts between the different
drives of the parts of our brain often cause us inner conflict.
―I want to talk to that woman over there, and I know that there‘s really no
risk... but I feel fear coming from somewhere and I can‘t control it.‖
Although Dorothy and her friends thought the Wizard of Oz was a powerful
ruler, Toto revealed the little old man really pulling the strings from behind the
curtain. The truth about consciousness is much the same; behind the curtain,
our physical brain and especially our emotional brain are both doing a lot of
manipulation... manipulation that is OUTSIDE THE CONTROL of our logical
brains.
We would like to believe that the logical, thinking part of our brain is in
control, but it‘s actually the older brains that control the newer brains for their
own ends. Where there‘s no conflict, we can exert a fair amount of conscious
control. When a more basic brain wants something contrary to a later one,
however, it usually tries to get its way.
Consider how difficult it is to calm yourself once your reptilian brain has
activated your flight or fight response. Consider how difficult it is to leave
someone you‘ve loved for a long time.
While we wield some control over the thinking brain, the others are slaves
to their evolutionary history and the motives of their creators: our genes. Our
thinking brain often finds a way to justify what the earlier brains want instead
of objectively evaluating the situation.
Consider for example something as seemingly abstract as beauty. You
probably know that the ideal female body shape has changed from the chubby
Reubenesques to today‘s anorexic runway models.
But a study examining the different images of beauty throughout history
found that a common hip-to-waste ratio of 0.7—a ratio which happens to be
ideal for bearing children. This means that while our abstract ideas of beauty
may be influenced by society, it is still rooted in primal, physical elements.
Realizing that the mind is being pushed and pulled by three different brains
and their correspondingly different agendas is key to understanding the ways
in which attraction differs based on you‘d expect if the rational brain alone
were involved. While we normally only think about attraction from the