Attraction Isn't A Choice

(Kiana) #1

You Don‘t Have to Agree with Rejection


OK, so not conforming suggests strength.


Not conforming to a WOMAN‘S expectations of you can be very powerful.


Put differently, you neither have to agree with a woman‘s perception about
you nor her reactions to you.


A few years ago, I did some work with a guy that had a particularly
interesting technique for hiring people. Here's what he did: after interviewing
people for the position, he'd call back the one he liked BEST, and say: "I
wanted to call and thank you for applying for this job, but I just don't think
you're the right person for the position"... and then he'd listen.


If the person said, "OK, well thank you", he'd just hang up and call the
next favorite candidate. On the other hand, if the interviewee said, "Wait a
minute, I am the best person for the position, I'm sure of it", he'd say, "Well,
tell me more. Why do you think so?"


I actually listened to him do this live on the speakerphone one day in his
office with a woman that he had interviewed. Sure enough, when he said,
"Well, I just don't think you're the right person...", she answered with "Why
not? I am the best..." and she went on to explain why she thought she was
the best. And, sure enough, he hired her.


The point here is that in a hiring situation, there are usually many people
applying. An interviewer needs to have ways of quickly filtering through and
disqualifying the unacceptable candidates. And a SAVVY interviewer will have
ways of quickly finding the EXCEPTIONAL candidates. This was a great
technique for reaching that goal.


People who thought of themselves as normal accepted his rejection and
perhaps resignedly agreed with the situation. People who thought they were
exceptional had the self-confidence to disagree with him and challenged the
situation.


Attractive women have the same need for a screening process.


I can remember when I first started "walking up" to women and trying to
get their phone numbers. If I had a dollar for every woman that said:


"Why don't you give me yours, and I'll call you instead" or... "I don't give
out my number" or... "I'll give you my pager number‖ or... "I lost my phone
and my number is disconnected and the dog ate my homework and there was
an accident..." I think you get the picture.

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