is causing this to happen repeatedly?” This fundamental lack of awareness
segues easily to a lack of resilience.
Emotionally intelligent sales professionals, on the other hand, are in a
mind-set of perpetual introspection and learning. When they fail, their
hair-trigger emotion is not to fix the blame but to fix the problem—which
could very likely be within them.
We all have stories to tell of responding both positively and negatively to
negative stimuli in our careers. We have all experienced the harvests of neg-
ative and positive emotional reactions. In the case of failure, most of us can
think of times when we embarked upon beating ourselves up and went into
a dark spiral of discouragement, our enthusiasm zapped. On the other hand,
we can probably also remember times where we failed and instead made a
concerted mental effort to take notes and improve from each experience.
CARRY-ON BAGGAGE
In the case of disappointment, you can more than likely remember a
time when someone treated you unjustly or thoughtlessly and you spent
emotional energy in fantasizing revenge and harboring bitterness. On the
emotionally intelligent side of disappointment, possibly you can remember
a time where you chose to take a more understanding and forgiving ap-
proach—and moved on with your life. Arguments could be made from
physiological, spiritual, and moral vantage points regarding the redeeming
value of letting go of old injuries and moving forward with life. The delete-
rious effects of an embittered spirit are well documented in medical jour-
nals, which chronicle the declining effect upon one’s physical health from
holding on to old grudges. In this discussion, however, I want to focus on
the emotional impact on others that results from hanging on to old baggage.
We all know people who are so devoid of trust that their suspicion and
sensitivity become an unpleasant odor they carry into every relationship.
Usually this emotional posturing can be traced back to a disappointing cir-
cumstance or experience they have experienced in their work histories.
Those lacking resilience grow bitter and cynical when they get burned and
consequently develop a lens of suspicion through which they filter every
conversation and relationship. On the other hand, the emotionally resilient
individual, who has a similar experience, grows wiser and more cautious but
does not allow yesterday’s toxins to pollute the air in today’s dialogues.
Words and phrases such as touchy, thin-skinned, chip on the shoulder, car-
rying too much baggage, oversensitive,and living in the pastdescribe the nega-
tive reactions people have to this unattractive, even repelling disposition.
Sources of Discouragement 111