meltdown. Bobby, who is in a senior-level position at a major mutual fund
company, told me of peers who were complaining and whining about their
pay because they had overextended themselves in the good times and could
hardly pay their tax bill in bad times. Bobby’s take on the circumstances was
different. He said:
“I never let myself forget from whence I came. I never in my
life thought I would see the kind of money I’ve seen. Years ago I
worked for an appliance manufacturer. I was a young, energetic
guy, and they took me from making $30,000 a year to over six fig-
ures. Then one day, they offered me the job as National Sales
Manager. It was a tough decision, but I turned it down and went
into the financial services industry, and I’ve been very blessed in
my career. I try to think of it this way: even in a horrible year, I’m
still doing better than I would have done if I had taken that National
Sales Manager position.”It does not matter if the pay is $30,000 or $300,000, you can find
plenty of people who are complaining and saying they deserve more. But
you will not find this emotional posture in great achievers. In those indi-
viduals, you find grateful attitudes about the opportunities they have en-
countered, the people they have been fortunate enough to meet, and the
material blessings they have received. This intrinsic motivation keeps them
out of pity parties.
Desire for Building Friendships
John Wenzel, a sales professional, told me a story about retirement that
I have shared with thousands of others because of the powerful lesson it
teaches. His family owns a piano store where his mother worked her entire
life. When she reached the age of 65, she retired just because it was expected.
Six months into her retirement, John got a call from the family doctor.
“John, I’m going to shoot straight with you. If you guys don’t put your
mother back to work, I don’t think she’ll live out the year.”
John and the rest of the family immediately responded, and John in-
forms me that today his mother is 86 years old and shows up every day at
the store to help sell pianos. This story illustrates the fact that alienation is
one of the greatest psychological traumas of retiring. Here was an individ-
ual who was intrinsically motivated in her life by building friendships—and
that motivator was stripped away. She missed talking to, selling to, and bond-
ing with the lives of others.
Finding Motivators That Last 123