MAKING THE MOST OF GARBAGE
Garbage dumps give off dangerous gases, the most notorious of which
are carbon dioxide and methane. Methane is the chief atmospheric crimi-
nal, contributing to the famed greenhouse effect that scientists say threat-
ens the earth’s atmosphere. Some innovative scientific minds in Quebec
felt that this highly vilified environmental enemy could actually be a friend
in disguise. This idea led them to invent a system for capturing, storing, and
converting the gas into energy. They have now stored enough methane to
supply electrical energy for over 35,000 homes.
How do you go about converting the emotional methane given off by the
negative personas you interact with? Can I, with intentionality, turn the tide
on arrogance, curtness, impatience, defensiveness, and the various other
gases contributing to the emotional greenhouse effect? We have three basic
choices when entering a polluted atmosphere.
- Breathe it in.
- Take offense and heighten the toxicity.
- Convert the poison with positive intentionality.
A key for understanding negative behavior is understanding that an
area of emotional lack undergirds every negative word or action. To prac-
tice intentionality, you must avoid responding to the emotion on the sur-
face and attempt to read the underlying emotion. Once you have read the
situation, you can work to satisfy or pacify that need rather than react to the
tone on the surface. This skill requires maturity, patience and, most im-
portant, an educated view of the emotional landscape.
When confronted with a negative or stressed tone by a client, before
you react or respond, ask yourself, “What is the emotional needhere?” When
confronted with arrogance, rather than taking immediate offense because
of your own emotional need to be treated with respect, ask yourself what
this individual lacks that causes her to communicate with arrogance. Is this
individual’s arrogance really chocolate-covered insecurity that causes her
to feel a constant need for recognition and to be right? Quite possibly.
For example, Stuart was perplexed that Marie met the business solu-
tion he offered to present to her company with defensiveness. This solution
was clearly what her business needed. What Stuart later realized was that
her resistance was undergirded by an emotional need to be seen as the
strategist in the organization. The solution didn’t bother her—the fact that
Stuart wanted to be the hero by doing the presentation bothered her a lot.
Winning the Emotional Tugs-of-War / The Power of Positive Intent 129