Winning the Emotional Tugs-of-War / The Power of Positive Intent 131FIGURE 15.1Changing a Negative Climate
Negative Climate Prescribed Response Example of Prescribed Response
Arrogance Give strokes. “You’re right. I see what you are saying.”
Attacking Calmly take ownership “What would be the best way to improve
of problem. this situation?”
Curtness Listen and take note of “Let me take some notes here on how to
details. resolve this situation.”
Cynicism Use candor and “I’m not going to promise what I can’t
sincerity. deliver. You’ll be the ultimate judge of my
performance.”
Defensiveness Accept input and take “I can see why you’re saying that. How
servicing approach. would you like me to help?”
Demands Give realistic “So we can avoid any disappointment or
expectations. misconceptions, I’m going to paint a
realistic picture of what might and might
not happen.”
Skepticism Provide facts. “Let me pull out some data on this topic.”
Evasiveness Use leading questions. “Let me ask you a series of questions that
are designed to ensure that our services
match your needs.”
Frustration Be empathetic and “I would be frustrated too in your
come up with a simple circumstance. To resolve it, how about if
game plan. we do the following?”
Struggle for words Write down reflective “Let me get this down, you want me to first
statement and ...and then put together a plan that will
proposed direction. do the following.”
Confusion Provide guidance with “Here’s a clear and simple way to solve
brevity and clarity. these issues.”
Impatience Give immediateplan “Today, I’m going to do... and call you to
of action. confirm it. Then, I will do... and
immediately confirm that in a letter.”
Oversensitive/ Lead by asking “So would you like me to do A, B, and C
volatile permission; do not or just A? All right, with your OK, I’ll get
temperament give orders. started on that.”
Disorganized Organize thoughts and “Let’s make a plan of action here and
presentation of create a plan. define the steps each of us needs to take.”
thoughts