Selling With Emotional Intelligence : 5 Skills For Building Stronger Client Relationships

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This fear can result from having unrealistic definitions of success or
having a “beat yourself up” personality.


  • Fear of success. Individuals feel undeserving of the success they think
    they want and sabotage their progress with foolish decisions and con-
    flicted lifestyles.

  • Fear of humiliation.Every decline is taken as a personal rejection. This
    fear is often rooted in memories of rejection/humiliation in earlier
    life or childhood. The sales rejection stirs up this negative spin cycle,
    and the individual prematurely exits the sales process to avoid these
    feelings of humiliation.

  • Fear of not being liked. This is common to the people pleasers. They
    spend most of their time with people who like them. They avoid un-
    pleasant tasks and difficult bargaining conversations. They are also
    known for spending money and buying gifts as a way of ingratiating
    themselves to clients.

  • Fear of financial disaster. Individuals with this fear can be dangerous to
    others and themselves. They will often push too hard to expedite results
    and may rationalize questionable selling scruples out of desperation
    for a payday. They are also vulnerable to placing their own interests
    above those both of clients and of peers within their own firms.


The excuses for rejection in selling scenarios are many, and sales pro-
fessionals must have thick skin and ample emotional resilience to withstand
the chorus of nos that they will hear on the way to yes.


POST-TRAUMATIC SALES SYNDROME


We have all heard stories about the war vet who goes ballistic with the
least bit of provocation and instinctively dives under the table at the sound
of a muffler backfiring. This condition is known as post-traumatic stress
syndrome and is suffered by people who have encountered any sort of life-
altering trauma. Victims of crime, abuse, and catastrophic events also fight
the impulse toward radically defensive responses toward everyday stimuli.
The equivalent to this malady in the sales profession is the prospect or client
who has been burned by a competitor or associate.
Jimmy was a fresh-faced neophyte walking into a lion’s den of discon-
tentment when he made the first sales call of his career. His company had
gone through six different reps in five years in this territory. His manager
told him to buck up for rejection, as prospects and clients would be in a
state of justifiable skepticism. Skepticismwas too sterile a term for what he
would encounter on this first call.


Risking Rejection / Getting Past No 137
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