phone modem. Not only do women get a clearer signal, they get it quicker.
This would explain why the following scenario happens. Two couples are
out to dinner. One wife kicks her husband under the table as he is saying
something. He stops and says incredulously, “What?” Then, suddenly, com-
prehension registers on his face, and he says, “Ooh.. .” He got the tacit
clue about six seconds after his wife.
Just because a woman has superior wiring, however, does not mean in-
tuition is her exclusive domain. Intuition is not a mystical, ineffable phe-
nomenon possessed only by psychics and mothers. Intuition is literally the
language of the right side of the brain as it reports on observations about
a person’s tone, body language, movements, and manner. We, as members
of a society that has always prized scientific reasoning above all else, have
never been trained to listen to the “logic” of the emotional, sensing side of
our brains—intuition.
Research has also demonstrated that this side of our brain takes about
(^1) ⁄ 24 th of a second to receive, process, and report a nonverbal signal. However,
depending on how well developed their empathy skills are, many people
take 24 hours or more before “the coin drops” and the intuitive message
can work its way through the rational clutter that drowns it out.
The link between what the emotions are feeling and what the face and
body are advertising is so quick that much of it falls beyond a person’s con-
trol. The facial reactions are almost automatic and, consequently, are highly
reliable indicators of a particular emotion. The Latin word motere, from
which we derive the word emotion,means to move—suggesting that emotion
in the brain sets the body into motion. Different emotions trigger the body
for different responses. Here are some examples.
- If we feel angry, we experience an adrenaline rush, our heart rate in-
creases, and blood flows to our hands preparing us for battle. Our
faces tense and lock into an intimidating posture, and we clench our
fists. - If, on the other hand, we feel happy, activity increases in the part of
our brains that inhibits negative feelings, quiets anxieties, and in-
creases our energy levels. The body goes into a state of rest and calm,
enabling us to recover more quickly from upset. The face and eyes
reveal this blissful condition with a hakuna matata (no worries) de-
meanor, which indicates that nothing, at this point, can upset us.
Jo-Ellan Dimitrius, Ph.D., is a leading expert on jury selection and has
been a consultant in many high-profile trials, including the O. J. Simpson
and Rodney King cases. In her book, Reading People, she writes:
146 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE