doubt that his observational artistry had something to do with his preco-
cious rise to the top.
BECOME A BETTER OBSERVER
To master the emotional intelligence competency of empathy requires
learning how to improve observational skills. An impeding factor that pre-
vents many from succeeding with people and building strong relationships
is an inability or unwillingness to observe clients skillfully. If we are the ones
doing most of the talking, it is much more difficult to observe the client.
We rarely learn anything while our mouths are moving. Those who win are
the people who master the art of observing. The reason many do not ob-
serve is simply because they don’t know what to look for. In this chapter, we
will focus specifically on the “tells” of personality.
To improve your observational skills, you must learn how to recognize
quickly the personality style of your clients and prospective clients. This skill
is really quite simple. Although it may sound complicated, after you learn
the signals and begin observing those around you, you will be shaking your
head at how obvious and predictable most people are. The natural follow-
up is learning how to apply these skills in a selling situation, which is what
the following chapter, “Shifting Gears—Four Critical Selling Adjustments,”
is about—customizing your sales presentation for each personality type.
One organic problem in a typical sales organization is that those doing
the selling are typically passionate people. While their passion contributes
toward making them interesting and engaging, this passion also leads many
of them to believe erroneously that “selling is in the telling.” In actuality,
we can only sell after we’ve properly readthe client. It is more important to
be able to read a tell than to do the telling. Telling before listening or ob-
serving is like throwing random seeds prior to checking the suitability of
the soil and climate. Being passionate will not help you overcome the soil
and climate. Oranges won’t grow in North Dakota, no matter how con-
vinced the sower is that they will.
Following, I will give you the visual and audio clues or tells of each of
the four personality styles. You will become a better player by first becom-
ing a more skilled observer. Commit these personality tells to memory and
begin to look for them in your next conversation.
First, let’s review the core of each of the four personality styles. Your
empathetic radar must be alert to pick up on the personality needs of each
client. Every personality has a receiver and an antenna that is tuned to pick
up on specific signals. Ask yourself what the receiver of each personality
style is looking for.
Developing Emotional Radar / The Powers of Observation 155