Resilience may be the single most important emotional factor affecting
success in a sales-oriented career. Without resilience, we quickly fall prey to
self-sabotaging messages that grow from the soil of failure and disappoint-
ment. In Chapter 13, “Sources of Discouragement,” I reveal how to sift
through the various sources of discouragement in your life and how to re-
bound from each with optimism.
Optimism is the spinal column to and from which all nerves of re-
silience flow. In Chapter 12, “Redefining Optimism,” I present a much-
needed redefinition of the term and expose the many misconceptions
about optimism. As a result, you will be better equipped to insulate your at-
titude from the daily bombardments of pessimism and cynicism, which
only serve to sour relationships and cause you to fall short of your goals.
This section also explains the difference between intrinsic and extrin-
sic motivation and demonstrates why top sales professionals are intrinsi-
cally motivated individuals. Extrinsically motivated sales professionals are
quick to lose motivation, experience burnout, and are more susceptible to
feelings of insignificance with their work. Chapter 14, “Finding Motivators
That Last,” reveals the chief intrinsic motivators utilized by successful sales
pros and how they can help you achieve at greater levels and avoid the pit-
falls of burnout.
Empathy
Empathy, a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, is a highly misun-
derstood term. When people think of the word empathy,they usually think
first about sympathy and compassion. However, the concept of empathy is
much broader in scope than simply feeling for or with someone. Empathy
is about understanding what people want and understanding the other
person’s situation. Empathy is about being able to pick up on and read the
signals that people are sending in the course of a discussion.
I like to define empathy as emotional radar.Those who have developed
this skill are able to read between the lines of dialogue and discern a
client’s motivations. This sense of emotional radar is what some would call
political smarts—the ability to recognize the payoffs that will make each
party feel good about the transaction at hand.
This section of the book not only guides you on how to read between
the lines, but it also teaches you how to read body language and tonal lan-
guage. Subtle but reliable signals, advertised in the face, eyes, posture, and
rhythms of speech, expose what people really think about what you are say-
ing. This observational skill is an indispensable tool in the empathy arsenal.
Introduction to EQ / Five Critical Levels of Awareness 7