more impressed with listening skills than with presentation skills (one study
found that one out of four high net worth investors were thinking of leav-
ing their advisors—and the number one reason was communication).
THEY JUST DON’T GET IT
“He just doesn’t listen!” were Nancy’s words, as she explained why she
had just changed vendors for her company. “I would look this guy in the
eye and tell him what I wanted and needed, and he would just continue to
push on his own agenda. Obviously this was not about us for him, so we
switched. And, truthfully, he probably has the superior line, but I can’t deal
with him anymore.”
It would hardly be possible to quantify how much money is lost and left
on the table because of poor listening skills, but I’m sure it would be in the
billions. The question to ask yourself is “How much money is it costing
me?” Is it possible that some of your clients—who you assume are satisfied
with the way you communicate—would say they are not satisfied? The safest
premise we can operate from is this: I can always do a better job of listen-
ing. This premise will safeguard us from smugness, arrogance, and the sort
of hubris that causes important accounts to flee.
Those who possess excellent inquiry skills are curious and genuinely in-
terested in others by nature. Yet they have also learned that this skill must
be purposefully developed to become habitual.
THE EMPATHY SELF-ASSESSMENT
If your most important client contacts were allowed to fill out a listen-
ing skills report on you (see Figure 20.1), how well do you think you would
score?
We are all guilty at times of being poor listeners. Some personalities,
however, are more susceptible than others. One irony of the sales profes-
sion is that the field naturally attracts the enterprising and motivated indi-
viduals, who, by nature of personality, have short attention spans and are
given to impatience. Ironically, their success hinges on their ability to tune
into others. Because neither feature—distractibility or impatience—aids in
the development of better listening skills, sales professionals must con-
stantly check their psychological impulses (picture a hockey check here)
when talking to clients.
We are not all great listeners by nature; however, that does not mean
we cannot become great listeners and observers of others. If we approach
180 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE