tant to be consistent in your behavior in and out of your organization. I have
witnessed many sales professionals who work hard at charming the socks off
of their clients but treat their home office support staff with ingratitude and
impatience, thus sabotaging their own efforts.
The ledger for an emotional bank account might look something like
Figure 23.1.
As you can see, this list could go on ad infinitum because an emotional
debit or credit can take place in any interaction over any matter. We should
practice vigilance regarding the emotional current we bring to every inter-
action. To form this habit may require that we mentally rehearse our ap-
proach to play out the possible emotional ramifications. I often rehearse
conversations I am hesitant about with my wife so I can get her feedback
on the emotional impact. Because of her high level of empathy, her feed-
back has often kept me from embarrassing myself and going into overdraft
with business contacts.
THE LONGEST YARD
The distance between you and your client is dynamic in nature, mean-
ing it is constantly in a state of expanding or contracting. Gary DeMoss, a
career sales professional, calls the three feet of physical separation between
you and your client the longest yard. Gary says we must be keenly aware of the
emotional comfort level that dictates this physical distance. One wrong
word, a testy tone, or a cross look can increase that distance. On the other
hand, one good word, a comforting tone, or an encouraging look can de-
crease the dynamic distance.
Think of professional relationships in terms of this dynamic state of
being, and you will suddenly become more aware of the emotional impact
of your words, glances, tones, and questions. Relationships do not park often
in a state of neutrality but instead move forward or backward (on the emo-
tional level) at every intersection. Emotionally intelligent individuals work
diligently at giving people a reason to like them.
GOOD MANNERS MATTER
“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.”
—CLARENCE THOMASTwo customers—a perfect contrast of one another—arrived at
a business counter at the same time.204 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE