The “Likability” Quotient 205FIGURE 23.1The Emotional Ledger
Debits- Pushing to get something done
- Hurrying them during a task
- Showing up without an appointment
•Taking too much of their time - Not allowing them sufficient opportunity
to voice their concerns - Asking repeatedly for favors
- Only acting friendly when they need
something
•Failing to show gratitude
•Taking their efforts for granted - Asking them to do things out of their
comfort zones - Asking them to perform tasks below
their positions - Using an agitated, confrontational, edgy
tone - Using a condescending, arrogant tone
- Using a demanding tone of voice
- Using an impatient tone of voice
- Not following through with commitments
- Not focusing on the speaker
- Not listening to their directions and
details - Shifting blame for your mistakes
•Bringing an overintensive, uptight
approach
•Never smiling- Interrupting the person who is talking
•Failing to communicate on critical issues
•Avoiding them in negative or troubling
circumstances
•Talking negatively about others - Whining, complaining, moaning, and
groaning - Being pessimistic
- Being insensitive to others’ time lines,
pressures, and agendas
•Invading their personal space - Acting overly familiar
- Acting overly officious
- Using inappropriate humor, making
comments, bringing up past mistakes
- Interrupting the person who is talking
Credits- Asking for assistance
- Asking for a time line
- Calling ahead
- Asking how much time they have
•Patiently listening to concerns - Not asking for more than you give
- Being sincerely friendly
- Showing gratitude for every favor
- Asking, not expecting
- Checking their comfort levels first
- Doing it yourself or asking for a special
favor
•Using a gentle, undemanding tone - Using a humble, approachable tone
•Using an imploring tone - Using a calm, patient tone
•Keeping your word; being on time
•Focusing on the speaker
•Taking notes when they offer help - "Owning up to" your mistakes
- Lightening up in stressful situations
- Smiling and bringing levity
- Biting your tongue and listening to the
person who is talking
•Taking the time to sit down and talk out
issues - Showing courage to confront
- Speaking highly of others
- Using a cheerful "can do" attitude
- Maintaining an optimistic approach
- Checking their time lines, agendas
first
•Keeping the appropriate distance - Earning the right to show familiarity
- Using a personable approach
•Keeping quiet when in doubt, and
showing grace toward mistakes