ment, when the cost is a relational connection that could have contributed
to our future prosperity? In laying out the confrontational rules of thumb,
I do not intend to imply that these approaches or responses will be easy. We
are all human, given to whims and occasionally carried far from logic by our
own self-justifying emotions. Consequently, we will be tempted to plead our
case, even if by doing so we pave the path to greater conflict. By practicing
the principles laid out here, however, you will see the world of conflict
through a different set of eyes. You will see that most people do not want ar-
guments, disagreements, and the accompanying tension. You will see that
people desire resolution and peace of mind. By following these principles,
you can diffuse tension, bring clarity, and quickly move forward from nega-
tive situations.
People feel assured that their mistakes would be quickly repaired be-
cause the focus is on “fixing the problem, not placing the blame.” Cooper-
ation and teamwork flourish in such an environment, and the wise sales
professional sets this wetone in conflict scenarios.
It is also important to make sure that your tone and your body lan-
guage, as well as your words, communicate. Insincerity with team-building
phraseology is more destructive than blaming and irresponsibility. Most
conflicts find their roots in poor communication. Make sure every aspect of
your communication—words, tone, nonverbal signals, and pace—convey
the same message. “I value this relationship and I want to resolve this ten-
sion.” Emotionally intelligent individuals understand this principle and work
toward communicating that they are going to be easy to work with.
SELLING WITH EQ
•Avoid confrontational postures when confronting a problem. Your
demeanor will set the stage for solving the issue.- Let empathy be your guide. Always consider the other person’s
predicament and point of view. - Don’t take yourself too seriously and people will relax around you.
220 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE