The Principles of Emotional Intelligence

• Each personality possesses predictable behaviors in conflict scenarios.


• Knowing how to temper one’s own biases and impulses prevents the
  escalation of conflict.


• An emotionally intelligent response acts as a catalyst for reversing a
  negative conversational climate.

Most of us would agree that much of the conflict we experience with
clients, employees, and coworkers is personality based, hence the term per-
sonality clash. In this chapter, I reveal effective conflict approaches that re-
duce the clash dynamic by building an emotional bridge, giving the other
party safety and comfort. I also highlight the personality biases that tend to
surface in conflict scenarios and explain how to keep these biases from sab-
otaging the resolution process. Very specific compromises are effective for
diffusing or preventing conflicts with each personality type. Finally, I discuss
how to stay above the fray when encountering the surly, the arrogant, the de-
fensive, and the many other negative approaches we are bound to run into.

THE POWER OF EMPATHY

The first and most crucial emotional competence necessary for resolv-
ing conflict is empathy—the process of identifying emotionally with another

221

MASTERS IN CONFLICT

“Persuasion, kind, unassuming persuasion should

be adapted to influence the conduct of men.”

—ABRAHAM LINCOLN

25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE