Parable—“Johnny Falls Down”
The following parable illustrates the phenomena of personality-
influenced perceptions and their role in conflict.
Johnny and his four friends were riding their bicycles, when
Johnny fell down. Here is how his four friends responded to the
situation.
Togetherness Friend: “Are you OK? Can I help you?”
Enterpriser Friend: “Where did you learn to ride a bike? Hurry
up, we’re going to be late!”
Analyzer Friend: “You’d better not move. You could have an in-
ternal injury. You know, you wouldn’t have fallen off if your shoe
had been tied.”
Motivator Friend: “That was cool! Did you see that flip?
Unbelievable!”
The next day at school, Johnny’s four friends gave their idio-
syncratic accounts of what had happened.
Togetherness Friend: “I really wonder if these are people I
want to be friends with. Johnny falls off his bike. One person is
yelling at him to get up, another is criticizing, and another is
laughing at him. Those people have no sensitivity.”
Enterpriser Friend: “Johnny is such a klutz. Just because he
can’t ride a bike, we’re late and end up with the worst seats. Next
time he doesn’t get invited.”
Analyzer Friend: “Johnny is so careless. I still think he should
go see the doctor. Sometimes these internal traumas kick in late. I
mean, I’ve heard of people dying.”
Motivator Friend: “It was hilarious! He goes flying, does a flip.
I give him a ‘10’—Olympic quality. There was blood everywhere!”Moral of the story: We often think that conflict arises because we can-
not agree on a solution. Johnny’s story illustrates that, because of our core
personalities, we have trouble just agreeing on what happened—even when
we all witness the same event.
THE OTHER PERSON’S PERSPECTIVE
Many of our conflicts are due simply to personality-based interpreta-
tion and response. The first and most powerful step in conflict manage-
ment is to allow yourself to see the event through the vantage point of the
personality you are dealing with. The chief question we need to ask in con-
Masters in Conflict 223