1.They will be reasonable and do what you would do given their
situation.- Their values are the same as yours (they may live by a radically di-
vergent set of rules than you).
Be especially wary of the use of emotion in the negotiating process.
Some negotiators will act like the teenager who uses melodrama to manip-
ulate. Shapiro and Jankowski put it this way, “When the other side gets emo-
tional, see their use of emotion for what it may well be: a negotiation play
or tactic. It is simply a device to elicit a particular reaction from you, just as
an opening low bid is meant to get you to drop your high asking price and
eventually meet somewhere in the middle.”
These authors warn to not regard emotional attacks as personal con-
demnations but as negotiation tactics meant to throw you off your game.
You must possess discipline in that moment to neutralize the emotional re-
sponse with the unemotional response, and the personal attack with the
impersonal response. You can counteract negative emotional ploys with
these responses.
- When they use anger, calmly ask why they are angry.
- When they act insulted, ask what kind of offer would not be insulting.
- When they use guilt, continue to focus on the issues.
- When they express exasperation, express understanding.
- When they use false flattery, offer thanks and bring focus back to the
negotiation.
NEGOTIATION STYLE
People bring their own individual style and emotional comfort level to
the negotiation process. One can make immediate parallels with the TEAM
Dynamics personality profile (refer to Chapters 2 and 3) and a person’s
style in a negotiating scenario. Some of the most obvious personality ten-
dencies in negotiations are as follows.
- Togetherness Personality. These individuals will be uncomfortable with
tension in relationships and may overcompromise to preserve rela-
tionships. They are seen as easy negotiating prey by aggressive Enter-
prisers because of their inability to say no. - Enterpriser Personality. These individuals are competitive and aggressive
in their approach to negotiation. They are not averse to confronta-
tion. They tend to drive to the bottom line as quickly as possible, and
234 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE