He replied, “One dollar.”
So the man bought the head of the fish and ate it. After a few
minutes had passed he became angry and said, “Wait a minute, I
could have bought the whole fish for less than that!”
“See,” the other fellow said, “it’s working. You’re smarter
already.”I am grateful to people like Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intel-
ligence) and Howard Gardner (author of the “multiple intelligence” theory),
who have provided a great service to our society by expanding the definition
of smart.In particular, Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence has
opened an awareness that most have understood intuitively but have had
trouble articulating—that possessing a high IQ does not necessarily make
an individual smart. In fact, some people with genius cerebral capabilities
seem to severely lack limbic functions such as awareness, empathy, etc.
Some individuals can be typed as simultaneously smart and stupid, depend-
ing on the section of brain activity.
Individuals who allow their facility with numbers and logic to lead them
into pomposity and emotionally abusive personalities are in fact fools—maybe
the greatest fools—because their abrasive manners cause those they meet to
want to ignore their intellectual gifts.
Recently I heard a sportswriter talking on the radio about a well-known
golf professional who has a reputation for being highly charismatic and
dynamic with crowds. He is known as a crowd pleaser. This writer com-
mented on how dazzling this man’s personality was in the press conference
with his use of witticisms and colorful commentary. He quickly added, “But
in person, one on one, he is an absolute jerk, as rude and dismissive a per-
son as you will ever find. I wouldn’t give a plugged nickel to sit down with
this guy, given what I’ve seen of his real side.”
The litmus test of our emotional intelligence is how we handle the lit-
tle matters and the isolated incident. Anyone can turn on the charm for
public display. That doesn’t require EQ, it requires showmanship. How we
handle small tensions, little problems, and private conversations defines
our emotional intelligence. People are taking emotional notes on how we
treat them, how high of an opinion we seem to have of ourselves, and how
we respond to annoyances, slights, and tension. Our emotional intelligence
can be put to the test in almost any conversation.
In this closing chapter, I want to summarize with an evaluation of the
responses and communication skills practiced by those who possess emo-
tional intelligence—not just in word but in tone as well. In Figure 27.1,
emotionally intelligent responses and behaviors are contrasted with low EQ
responses. While by no means a comprehensive list of EQ competencies,
Seven Habits of the Emotionally Competent 243