POLAR OPPOSITES/ORIGINS OF CONFLICT
Much of the conflict we face is personality based. Our personality style
in large part defines how we view people and events and how we respond
to them. Two people of varying personality styles view a single set of events
and come away with completely opposite stories of what happened.
Many of the conflicts we face are simply rooted in personality differ-
ences. I am not wrong and you are not wrong—we simply perceive matters
differently than our clients and, consequently, have different sets of priori-
ties on how to resolve those conflicts.
Figure 2.6 illustrates the opposite polarities of the four personalities.
Ironically, it has been estimated that upwards of 75 percent of married cou-
ples are personality polar opposites. And why do we tend to marry our
polar opposites? Maybe at the time we were bored with our own personal-
ity and wanted to experience a different style. Then one day we wake up,
look at our polar-opposite mate, and say, “So, you’re going to be like this
everyday?”
20 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
R
el
at
io
ns
hip Ra
nd
omTM
AT E M
AE
R
o
ut
in
es Resu
lts
AE
TM
FIGURE 2.6TEAM Dynamics
Opposite Personality Polarities:
T vs. E A vs. M E vs. A