- Be aware of the physical signs indicating we are vulnerable to anger
at the moment. - Be aware of responses that have worked in the past for diffusing the
chemistry of anger.
Anger can be brought on by any number of annoyances or perceived
threats. The shoddy emotional response thinks nothing of swinging at an
expensive vase to kill an annoying fly, or of pounding the horn and shak-
ing a fist at a clueless driver, or of giving verbal ventilation to every agitated
thought. Restraint alone keeps us from harming property, others, and our-
selves with hair-trigger reactions. Restraint, however, is no mystery. Restraint
is the awareness (and regulation) of what is going on inside us, where the
dangerous impulses can lead, and how to escape the angry rush.
PHYSIOLOGY OF ANGER
How aware are you of what is happening with your body when you are
caught in the emotional spectrum between annoyance and anger? Try to
answer the following questions about how your body responds to disturb-
ing emotions.
When I am agitated or annoyed, I...
•Tap on the table- Shake my leg up and down
- Purse my lips
- Narrow my eyes
- Pace the floor
- Breathe long and drawn out
- Breathe short and fast
- Bite my lip
- Grind my teeth
•Clench my fists
•Tighten my grip (on steering wheel, etc.)
When I am really angry...- My stomach tenses
•My stomach hurts - My head heats up
- My head hurts
•My neck stiffens
64 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE