The Principles of Emotional Intelligence

• Once we express a negative emotion, it takes on a life of its own, over
  which we have no control.


• Anticipating the ramifications of negative emotions will hinder their
  expression.

TELL THEM HOW YOU REALLY FEEL

Trevor’s index finger hung ambivalently over the send button. He sensed
that this e-mail, once sent, could take on a life of its own. He felt that what
he was saying needed to be said. He had turned down some pretty good of-
fers to come to this company. He’d taken this job because the territory was
close to home and he would be selling a product he had confidence he
could sell. But things had changed in the two years since he’d arrived.
In his first year, he led the division in sales. He was promptly rewarded
with a cut in pay! This grated on him every working day. The next year he
persisted and had another very good year. His reward? They chopped up

71

THE VIRAL SPIRAL

OF EMOTION

“ Keeping our distressing emotions in check is

the key to emotional well-being.”

—DANIEL GOLEMAN

8

CHAPTER EIGHT