15.6
MANAGING YOUR DEFENSIVE REACTIONS
Inspired by Robin Skynner and John Cleese.Defense mechanisms protect people from anxiety, usually operate unconsciously, and always
distort reality. Leaders, like everyone else, use defense mechanisms as strategies to reduce anx-
iety. Some defenses are healthy; others can severely limit a leader’s potential for success by
clouding judgment and interfering with the leader’s ability to build and maintain strong work-
ing relationships.
Note:A fourth group of very unhealthy defenses—psychotic—have not been included here.
They are present but rare in the work environment.
470 SECTION 15 TOOLS FORTAKINGCARE OFYOURSELF
Healthy defensesAnticipation- Reducing the stress of some difficult
challenge by anticipating what it will
be like and thinking through strategies
for dealing with it.
Suppression - Being able to hold your fire while
you wait for the right moment.
Instead of pushing a frightening feel-
ing out of awareness (repression),
holding it in check and bearing the
discomfort of feeling it.
Sublimation - Finding other satisfying ways of
expressing uncomfortable emotions
and impulses.
Altruism - Enjoying doing the types of things
for others that you would enjoy hav-
ing done for you.
Humor - Using humor to deal with difficult
situations or painful facts.
Midrange defensesRepression- Pushing uncomfortable ideas and
thoughts to the back of your mind
and, for the most part, misleading
yourself by assuming that they no
longer exist.
Isolation - Repressing thoughts but not the feel-
ings (e.g., feeling anxious without
knowing why).
Intellectualization - Repressing the feeling but not the
thought (e.g., imagining doing some-
thing violent to a coworker, but with-
out feeling the horror that would
result if this action were actually car-
ried out).
Displacement - Shuffling your thoughts and feelings
(e.g., although you’re angry at your
boss, you avoid the risk associated with
that, by being angry at your spouse).
Reaction Formation - Avoiding feeling some feared emotion
or impulse by emphasizing its opposite
(e.g., adopting an uptight attitude to
keep sexual impulses in check).
Unhealthy defensesFantasy- Living in a dream world where you
imagine you are successful and popu-
lar, instead of making real efforts to
make friends and succeed at a job.
Projection, Paranoia - Blaming your limitations, incompe-
tence, or ineptitude on other people.
Masochism, Hypochondria - Trying to get what you want by
manipulating others to give it to you,
instead of taking responsibility for
your own life.
Acting Out - Giving in to your impulses without
reflecting on their meaning or their
consequences.