65When we view relationships as opportunities for cre-
ativity, they always get better. When our relationships
get better, we are even more motivated.
My youngest daughter, Margie, was in fourth grade
when a very shy girl in her class accidentally put a large
black mark on her own nose with an indelible marker.
Many of the kids in the class pointed at her and started
to laugh. The little girl was finally reduced to tears of
embarrassment.
At some point Margie walked over to the girl to give
her some comfort. (Margie’s astonished teacher related
this story to me.) Impulsively, Margie picked up the
marker and marked her own nose, and then handed the
marker to another classmate and said, “I like my nose
this way. What about you?”
In a few moments the entire class had black marks
on their noses, and the shy girl who was once crying
was laughing. At recess, Margie’s class all went out on
the playground with marked noses, and they were the
envy of the school—obviously into something unusual
and “cool.”
This story is interesting to me because of how Margie
used her creativity and her mind instead of her emo-
tions to solve a problem. She elevated herself up into
her mind, where something clever could be done. If she
had used her feelings to think with, she might have ex-
pressed anger at the class for laughing at the girl, or
sadness and depression.
Any time you take a relationship problem up into
the mind, you have unlimited opportunities to get cre-
ative. Conversely, when you send a relationship prob-
lem down the elevator into the lower half of the heart,
you risk staying stuck in the problem forever.
Create the way you relate