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This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel anything.
Feel everything! Notice your feelings. Just don’t think
with them. When there’s a relationship problem to be
solved, travel up your ladder to the most creative you.
You’ll soon realize that we create the relationships we
have in our lives; they don’t just happen.
“We are each of us angels with only one wing,” said
the Italian artist Luciano de Crescenzo, “and we can
only fly embracing each other.”28. Try interactive listening
The principle of using interactivity as a creativity-
builder is not restricted to computer games or chat
rooms. Once we become fully conscious of this principle,
we can find ways to become more interactive every-
where. We can even make conversations with our fam-
ily and friends more interactive than they once were.
We all have certain business associates or family
members that we think of as we do television sets. As
they speak to us, we have a feeling that we already know
what they’re going to say. This lowers our own conscious-
ness level, and a form of mental laziness sets in.
Whereas in the past we might have just passively
suffered through other people’s monologues, we can now
begin introducing more interactivity. In the past we
might have punctuated our sleepy listening with mean-
ingless words and phrases, such as “exactly” and “there
you go,” but we weren’t truly listening. But that pas-
sive approach shortchanges ourselves and the people
we are listening to.
“When we are listened to,” wrote Brenda Ueland,
“it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actu-
ally begin to grow within us and come to life.”