71unhappiness—he said he had made a list for me of the
secret reasons why people think they should feel bad.
“If I feel bad, then that proves I am a good person,”
he said. “Or, if I feel bad, I am responsible. If I feel
bad, I’m not hurting anybody. If I feel bad, it means
that I care. Maybe if I feel bad, it proves I’m being re-
alistic and aware. If I feel bad, it means I’m working on
something.”
That list gives us powerful motivation to be unhappy.
But as Werner Erhard (personal transformation pioneer)
has always taught in his well-known est seminars, hap-
piness is a place to come from, not to try to go to.
I once saw Larry King interviewing Werner Erhard
by satellite from Russia, where Erhard was living and
working. Erhard had mentioned that he might be mov-
ing back to the United States soon, and Larry King asked
him if coming home would make him happy.
Erhard paused uncomfortably, because in his view
of life nothing makes us happy. He finally said, “Larry, I
am already happy. That wouldn’t make me happy, be-
cause I come from happiness to whatever I do.”
Your happiness is your birthright. It shouldn’t de-
pend on your achieving something. Start by claiming it
and using it to make your self-motivation fun all the
way and not just fun at the end.
32. Be your own disciple
So, why do I claim we have no willpower? Is it a mis-
guided desire to protect myself? Is there a secret payoff
in saying I have no willpower? Maybe if I absolutely
deny the existence of willpower, I am no longer respon-
sible for developing it. It’s out of my life! What a relief!
But, here’s the final tragedy: The development and
use of willpower is the most direct access to happiness
Be your own disciple