79When we shift our focus to the other person in the
relationship, something paradoxically powerful hap-
pens. By forgetting ourselves we start to grow. I have
developed an entire seminar around this one shift. It is
called “Relation-Shift.”
Spencer Johnson, author of The One-Minute Sales
Person, calls it “the wonderful paradox: I have more fun,
and enjoy more financial success, when I stop trying to
get what I want and start helping other people get what
they want.”
If you want to be motivated, shift your inspiration
to someone else. Point out the strengths of the other
individual to him or her. Offer encouragement and sup-
port. Offer guidance in his or her own self-motivation.
Watch what it does for you.
38. Learn to come from behind
Progress toward your goals is never going to be a
straight line. It will always be a bumpy line. You’ll go
up and then come down a little. Two steps forward and
one step back.
There’s a good rhythm in that. It is like a dance.
There’s no rhythm in a straight line upward.
However, people get discouraged when they slide a
step back after two steps forward. They think they are
failing, and that they’ve lost it. But they have not. They’re
simply in step with the natural rhythm of progress. Once
you understand this rhythm, you can work with it in-
stead of against it. You can plan the step back.
In The Power of Optimism, Alan Loy McGinnis iden-
tifies the characteristics of tough-minded optimists, and
one of the most important is that optimists always plan
for renewal. They know in advance that they are going
Learn to come from behind