594 The Spiritual Man
divulge his preference. And so others must choose and determine for
him. Such a victim of the enemy is like seaweed adrift in the ocean
waves. He very much hopes that others will decide for him or that his
environment will be such that only one alternative is open for him to
follow, thus relieving him from the responsibility of having to make
a decision. He seems to be happy when forced to do anything, for
this keeps him from anxiety which would arise from indecision. He
would rather be driven by circumstance than be free to choose his
circumstance since making a choice is so trying for him.
In such a condition of inertia, to decide a small matter becomes a
tremendous chore! The victim looks for help everywhere. He feels
quite embarrassed because he does not know how to cope with his
daily affairs. He seems hardly to understand what people say to him.
Painful is it for him to recall anything; agonizing is it to make a
decision; terrifying, to consider any task. His inert will is impotent to
bear such a heavy responsibility. Because of its gross weakness he is
compelled to wait for assistance through environment or through
men. If he is helped by any particular person he rejoices in receiving
such help, yet resents beholding the capture of his will. Who can
tally up the hours consumed in waiting for outside aid? Are we
suggesting that such a passive believer does not like to work? Not at
all; for when compelled by an external force he is able to work; but
just have the compulsion terminate and he will halt right in the
middle of his labor, feeling himself insufficient in strength to carry
on. Innumerable unfinished jobs form the sad testimonials of a
passive will.
How inconvenient must this state of inaction be! A believer has to
rely on multiplied notes to help him remember; he has to talk aloud
to concentrate; he has to devise hundreds of “crutches” to assist him
along in life. His senses gradually grow dull until finally he
unconsciously develops many idiosyncrasies and queer habits such
as not looking straight while talking, bending while walking,
exercising little or no mind in any undertaking, either attending too